What My Body Tells Me: Listening to its Silent Messages
How many times have I rushed to the doctor in a panic because of a strange sensation, discomfort, or persistent pain in my body? Countless. I even underwent MRI scans of my brain and back, as well as multiple ECG tests. Fortunately, they always came back normal. But I knew that these symptoms were not just figments of my imagination. They were real to me. As I was left with my symptoms, (and maybe a paracetamol as a plaster), I began to wonder. Could there be another underlying cause beyond the physical realm? Was I somatizing something deeper, I was not aware of?
DEVELOP AWARENESS OF MY INTEROCEPTION SENSE
During my journey of self-development, I stumbled upon a BBC article about our senses. To my surprise, it revealed that we don't just have five senses, but seven. These additional senses are interoception and proprioception. Intrigued by the idea of exploring our human capabilities further, and having already made progress on the emotional front, I decided to become more attuned to the signals my body was sending me. I wanted to become more aware of these senses and the valuable information they could provide, continuing my quest for heightened awareness.
Once I set this intention, I soon noticed a pain in the upper right side of my stomach, accompanied by a localized inflammation that caused discomfort around my thoracic bones. Interestingly, this was a pain I had experienced periodically in the past. In fact, I once spent an entire day at the emergency room because of it. I had called a GP who, after describing the symptoms, urgently advised me to go to the nearest hospital. It turned out to be ‘costochondritis’, something that would come and go without any cause for concern.
So, when the pain resurfaced in March, I knew it wasn't something serious. I decided to try something different. With my newfound understanding of interoception, I wanted to uncover the hidden meaning behind this ongoing discomfort. How did I do it?
UNCOVER THE HIDDEN MESSAGE: THE POWER OF SHADOW WORK
I had recently finished reading a book called Integral Vision by Ken Wilber (my absolute favorite philosopher), which introduced an exercise called "3-2-1 process" for shadow work. As I understand it, shadow work involves uncovering elements of my unconscious mind, such as thoughts or needs, that are waiting to be revealed and brought into my awareness. This process allows me to address and overcome internal blockages, fostering personal growth.
I applied this exercise to my pain. First, I described the sensation, then I engaged in a conversation with it, creating a dialogue between myself and the pain, as if I had become the pain itself. In my journal, I wrote, “'I'm experiencing a slight acidity and discomfort in my upper right stomach... What message are you trying to convey to me?... I sense a loss of clarity... Which emotion do you represent? Are you anger or sadness?... 'I am angry with myself“ I was taken aback by this revelation and interrupted my automatic writing in shock... It felt unbelievable, impossible even... Angry? Me? No way... Such a strong word... I have always been known for my calmness, seen as a symbol of 'quiet strength'.
Prior to this exercise, I had believed I was experiencing sadness. I had felt a need for more action, a desire to share my recent learnings and discoveries, and contribute to the world's happiness in some way. However, I couldn't quite figure out how to do it. So, when the word 'anger' surfaced, I was taken aback.
EMBRACE THE UNVEILED EMOTION: UNLEASH ITS ENERGY
What I had mistaken for sadness was, in fact, anger. By repressing it, I had internalized and somatized this emotion, becoming unaware of its original cause. My body, acting as a courageous guardian, served as a reminder: "Don't forget about this." Having developed a strong trust in my process of automatic writing over the past month, I eventually accepted the reality of my anger. The act of writing became a cathartic process, allowing me to release this pent-up emotion. And oh, the energy it unleashed! It persisted intensely for an entire month. I was angry at myself for not progressing, particularly for not creating anything.
It was through this transformative experience that my blog came to life. Anger became the driving force behind my newfound creative energy.
From a hidden message nestled in the depths of my stomach, I liberated a concealed emotion and discovered my courage.
Have you ever attempted to listen to your body? What was the secret message it conveyed? So often, we disregard the messages, yet they possess remarkable power to guide us on the path to happiness.
