Emotional Empathy and Setting boundaries
Developing my awareness of what is, made me realize that I was very sensitive to others' emotions, to the point that I could feel their emotions in my own body. When I became aware of this, I came across a new challenge: how to differentiate my emotions from others', and how to use that gift while preserving my emotional state.
What is an emotional empath? Simply put, it's someone who absorbs others' emotions, with the associated behavior being compassion to help overcome their suffering. The problem is, by unconsciously acting on this empathy, we can easily become drained energetically.
To address this, I took the following steps:
1 - Learning to differentiate my own emotions from others' through journaling and shadow work.
2 - Observing what I felt in the presence of someone, and simply asking if they were feeling the emotion I sensed.
3 - Setting boundaries: learning to say no and step away from rushing to absorb others' negative emotions, which only burdens me further. Instead, expressing exactly what I feel and what I can or cannot do, e.g., "I deeply feel your emotion, and it's too personally painful for me. I cannot help you right now, as it's causing me a lot of pain too." Even with loved ones I'd unconsciously supported for years, I explained I could no longer take it on, as challenging as that felt. But really, the easiest thing is to openly share what's happening for you when someone is in emotional distress.
4 - Practice self-care and dedicate time for myself. I really need the ME TIME to recharge.
Emotional empathy is a gift, but it needs training to master. Observation, self-knowledge, and boundaries are the key first steps.
Once I learned to set boundaries with my closest loved ones, I could start setting them for anything draining my capacity to help. Learning to say no, while suggesting new relationship compromises, made everything feel possible and limitless.
What about you? Are you an emotional empath? Is it easy to say NO to friends/family or in general, or are you rushing to help? Try to practive saying no. Start small with maybe someone it will be easier first and then gradually learn to say NO to people you love the most. Observe how it makes you feel and observe the change in your own behaviour.
